Often we don’t see what should have been obvious from the jump. The story is too chaotic while in progress. We’re not even sure who we are at any given moment, much less who we should trust. The best we can do is take a guess and play our cards. Jason did that despite the obstacles he tripped over without finding peace. That should be the primary measure right? Peace. How else should we go about this life? Where else would we find relief from strife?
The thing is Jason rarely played our hand with all his facilities intact. He folded at each refrain and gave up the fight before it ever began. Rinse and repeat. Are we doing this again? Okay. Buckle up, buttercup. Your feelings are about to get hurt by the very things you keep doing no matter how hard you try to stop. Time to say enough is enough. Flip the script back to the original mix. The one we came in with. The one this world wasn’t ready to bump. Not at eleven. Not all the way up. We had to turn it down until we lost all semblance of ourselves. Never again is where forgiveness dwells.
Transcendence follows. A timeless soul with all its power firmly in hand. Ready for the many wonders that still lay ahead. The form our future might take remains unclear but oddly enough that is no longer a state that brings anxiety. Or even much fear. Just a whole lot of curiosity for what comes next. It’s been just over a year since Jason welcomed us into his singular existence with open arms and his life shot off in a totally new direction. The shift was so abrupt that some got left behind who didn’t have the eyes to see us in all our dangerous glory. All of our beautiful mess. Those who remained became more central to the story. Essential to our future success.
We’re happy to accept the condemnation of those we considered brothers. Like few others until they weren’t. Clearly the Universe had a different opinion. Privy to conversations where we had no voice. No choice to determine the level of our involvement based on new facts and the knife in our back. Our commitment is all we can give without strings attached. Turns out better boundaries are beautiful things absent hesitation. No need to to intercede in places where we aren’t cherished much less recognized or particularly valued. Tolerated at best. Y’all failed the test at every turn, yet there never came a time where we truly learned. Until we did.
Jason flew us to Columbus, Ohio, today. Still opting for first class when our game should be on full display. For the second year in a row, we attended the Military Order of the Cootie Supreme Scratch only this time as our local pup tent’s Seam Squirrel. The unit’s commander. Cooties are a subchapter of the Veterans of Foreign Wars and take their mission of visiting with vets at our nation’s Veterans Homes and VA hospitals very seriously. Far more seriously than most of the VFW posts they share hospitality. A far more daunting challenge to clear. Our Cooties accepted us without pause, something I wouldn’t have guessed before last year.
The Cooties are really all we have left right now to connect us to our veteran community and one that has been far more rewarding than singing karaoke and drinking at the post that doesn’t seem to want us. Despite the close friends we made there since joining in 2017, it didn’t take all that much to be stripped of our officer position and get banned for a year. Challenge the wrong pricks in a clique and out you go. Unexpected and unwarranted but that neatly sums most of the lessons life has thrown Jason’s way since he decided to take responsibility for his spiritual growth and past mistakes in an effort to become a better dad. A better man.
I suspect this detour will turn out just as amazing as all the rest of them. There’s so many new and exciting possibilities on the horizon now that our security blanket has been ripped away and burned at the stake. We’ve become experts at boldly facing those flames before turning on our heel and walking away. Never looking back. Our future demands that at the very least. Not to mention our self-esteem and self-respect. The central core to our very being. That calm and peaceful place where we draw our next breath. Anything or anyone distracting us from that path will never be healthy. Never be the right place for us to be.
We’re done second-guessing fate at this late date. Whatever happens, good or bad, usually happens for reasons we may never know or understand. What happens next? That is the only power we truly have.
