Opportunity knocks in the most unlikely of places at the most unexpected of times. For most of his life, Jason operated under a very specific paradigm and never really doubted the cis straight male identity he inherited at birth. Penis? Check. Attracted to girls? Check. Pretty simple list. The instructions made perfect sense on paper, but he encountered serious issues putting them into practice in the real world. Square pegs, round holes. Nothing ever fit. Until it did.
Last year around this time, Jason discovered a totally new reality. An understanding of his life previously unseen, unknown and unremembered. We’ve been doing this desperate dance for more than a single lifetime, of course. Not always the boy in charge at birth, at first, but in various configurations throughout that always brought different challenges and chances for growth. If you believe in souls and the energy they produce, none of this should be terribly shocking. If not, then you likely think we are a little bit crazy. Maybe more than a little. We don’t mind.
Our truth is a lived experience. A shared experience. Jason and Jessica are a reality that can’t be denied. My place in this beautiful mess is as the overarching identity that encompasses both him and her within a larger whole, the “They/Them” who defines the complete and complex human now occupying this space. It was actually only this past week that I took my place on stage. I will likely remain more of a background player for the most part, but it is nice to have a gender-neutral option should the situation demand it or if the stars get tired of the limelight.
This may or may not add a certain amount of additional confusion for some, but that’s not in our control. All we can do is be honest and forthright in telling our story on this site and in our life. We can continue to be open to each new revelation, regardless of how much it may disrupt or contradict something we learned or understood previously. We can be fearless in our pursuit of justice for our community, using all 54-years of cis straight white male privilege Jason gathered by mistake but is now baked into our DNA. Confidence can indeed be infectious.
We remain hopeful that by simply existing without apology we might give other people the courage to do the same. Perhaps our showing up with authenticity and audacity will help another human struggling with their truth to take that terrifying leap into a new, more fulfilling life. We understand that is much easier said than done for many people for various reasons, many of them completely outside of their control. Not everyone enjoys the particular set of circumstances as Jason did when all this first came to light. For those who do, we highly recommend it.
It’s never too late to become who you were always meant to be. Hell, it’s never too late to realize who you always thought you were wasn’t the whole story. You can find whole new layers to life that might have been previously unimaginable. We understand it’s scary right now, but this too will pass, like so many scary moments previous to this one. Our community will emerge with our faith in humanity rewarded by activists and allies we never knew existed prior to being attacked coming out to defend and support our rights knowing theirs are under assault as well.
We’ll keep showing up, too, as hard as it is some days. Mostly for Jessica. She is the most visibly “queer” of us. She’s the one who takes the stares without flinching. She’s the one who keeps pushing the boundaries of who we are in this world. We couldn’t be more proud of all she’s accomplished so far and all that’s still ahead. We appreciate all the friends, family and coworkers who leaned into this plot twist with us. It was literally the one necessary thing that made all the rest of this possible. Whatever comes next, we’re certain we have what it takes to make the most of both our challenges and our opportunities. We’re excited for each new moment.
