On November 11 of last year, I attained the third degree of Freemasonry at Arcana Lodge in northeast Minneapolis and was given the honor of becoming a Master Mason, taking my place among a long and storied group of Brothers who have stood firm at the most important moments in history. That I was able to do so on Veterans Day, another pivotal point in a life filled with missed opportunities, was just icing on the cake. The supreme irony for me is that joining a strictly male fraternity gave me the courage necessary to be unflinching when I looked inward for answers to my many lingering questions and the obligation to do so with all the honesty at my command. Challenge accepted.
It doesn’t surprise me that four months later I realized I’m nonbinary, two spirit to be precise. My first real connection to the Universal Om led me directly to the next in short order. I’m sure that will continue unabated as I strengthen my relationship with the divine order. After a lifetime spent in chaotic darkness, I found peace in more authentically embracing The Light. With this embrace, came a greater understanding of who I truly am and who I would like to become in the future. I’ve long held kaizen as a central tenant in my life, but it was purely rhetorical. I claimed continuous learning as a personal quest, yet I rarely put it into practice on a consistent basis.
That is no longer an option for me. As a Master Mason, I am called to actively pursue learning as a part of my daily life. While it remains a moving target, I’m getting better at applying that dictate to my daily activities. I’ve long held myself to a high standard as it relates to my interactions with the world at large, but it’s only been recently that I applied that standard to my interactions with myself. I’m allowed to have flaws, feelings, fears. I can stare into the depths of my darkness and find light where previously I found despair. The shift in perspective has been quite liberating.
I’m not sure where this new path leads, but I am certain it will be amazing. Empowering. Enlightening.
I will discover all the tools necessary to complete my quest to become a better human. I am excited to bring the divine feminine into the Lodge as the mirror image to my masculine baseline. I’m certain my Two Spirit nature will allow my spiritual development to go farther than I could have ever done as a man alone. It’s like a superpower laying dormant and ready to deploy. I’ve nibbled around the edges for years, but when I decided to really lean in and own that direct connection to 50% of humanity, I blossomed in ways I could have never imagined.
Deity has no gender. It encompasses all that is human. I’m honored to play my part.
