COVID-19 looked to be an ironic lifesaver in my world. Following months of chaos and recrimination and outright parental warfare, a global pandemic forced my ex-wife to respond to me in a way that was almost human again. Not as warm as it was before the current impasse came into being at the end of last summer, but infinitely better than fighting for every square inch of common sense middle ground on my son’s behalf. We abruptly realigned on what’s best for him today, mostly because there was no other choice. Still sad, of course, but eminently negotiable. It was Friday.
By Sunday, that unexpected thaw turned back into the impenetrable glacier of bullshit I’d become used to over the last seven months since she “introduced” Match.com Boyfriend to O by way of living with them each weekend she was the on-duty parent less than a month after they first met. She insisted Minnesota schools weren’t closed and there’s no reason to change the parenting schedule to something that would be better for our son in response to this worsening crisis. She agreed I could “keep him” Sunday night, but I would “return him” Monday morning at 7:15am. My “visitation” would resume on Thursday at 5pm according to the “school-year” schedule. I raised several reasonable objections and was told to speak with my attorney. Deja vu all over again.
The only hope that hasn’t been put to a painful and shameful death is my ex-wife recently agreed to a court-ordered Parenting Consultant to negotiate the next detente. A new status quo that puts our son’s best interests back in the center of the decision-making process. We’re adding an objective third-party to the mix empowered by Hennepin County Court to insist on candor and consistency from both of us. He should be using our divorce decree as the measuring stick when judging who has been most willing to follow its dictates to ensure our son’s health and happiness despite changing circumstances that require compromise along the way.
I’m confident my actions can withstand the scrutiny. She probably feels the same, but I suspect the results won’t be. Not with what my son and I have faced for the last seven months. Not with the well-documented inconsistency and lies. The record couldn’t be more clear. We’ve been living in an insane limbo with zero predictability. A four-year history of respectful co-parenting and “friendship” turned into whatever the fuck this is seemingly overnight. None of it is right, but I have to believe justice will have its turn. My son now has a champion with the power to positively impact the current shit trajectory in ways I never could.